


Split Seams

by potterswinchesters



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Post-Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), Repressed Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 03:43:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13895508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potterswinchesters/pseuds/potterswinchesters





	Split Seams

As they made their way to the car, Dean couldn’t get the image out of his mind: Castiel, the poison from the Lance of Michael spreading through his vessel. Black tendrils like thick, grotesque veins, crawling across his skin. Blood all over his clothes from the wound in his abdomen. The tears filling his eyes. His forehead damp with sweat even though _angels didn’t sweat_. But it was the words he’d choked out that assaulted Dean’s mind the most.

 _“I love you.”_ It was what Castiel had chosen to say during what he’d thought would be his last moment. He had used this final moment to breathe the confession to Dean. And then, _“I love all of you.”_

Dean wasn’t a complete idiot. He knew that the first one had been directed at him. Cas had singled him out, because he loved Dean in a different way than he loved Sam and Mary.

When they reached the car, Mary got into the driver’s seat. Sam reached for the door to the passenger seat, but caught Dean’s eye before opening the door, as if to make sure they were on the same page. _I know, Dean_ , his eyes seemed to say. Dean’s throat went dry as he gave his brother a small, nearly imperceptible nod and got into the backseat beside Castiel.

His gaze trailed over the angel, whose eyes were downcast. Dean’s stomach churned at the sight of the bloody trench coat and then he was again tormented by images of his best friend dying, and the feeling of panic emerged once more.

 _He’s okay_ , Dean reminded himself, casting a sidelong glance at Castiel. _Look at him. He’s right there. You could even reach out and touch him if you wanted to. He ain’t going anywhere._

“Dean. Seat belt on,” Mary commanded, drawing Dean from his thoughts.

In a slow and torpid motion, Dean reached back to pull the seat belt over himself. As he buckled it from his side of the car, Cas had the same idea. Dean didn’t pull away when their hands brushed—not as he usually would. The events of tonight had left him feeling raw with need for things that he had never thought he needed before, and one of them was Cas’s touch. He wanted more than just a brush of their fingers—

No.

This couldn’t happen. He wasn’t _supposed_ to want this.

“Dean,” Castiel whispered; it was so quiet that it was almost drowned out by the purr of the car’s engine, but he still heard it. As his gaze darted to Cas, he saw concern tugging at the angel’s features. “Are you all right?”

Dean let out a laugh without humour. “Am _I_ all right?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing. “You just almost died and you’re really askin’ me that?”

“Well, _I’m_ fine, Dean,” Cas responded. “Relieved, if anything. You, on the other hand, appear rather troubled.”

“I just… you’re, you know, uh—” Dean didn’t want to do this in front of his mother and brother, and suddenly wished they would both disappear, but Castiel needed to hear something. He had to make sure that Cas knew he was loved. He cleared his throat and tried again, speaking as quietly as he could to make sure Castiel was the only one who heard it. (Luckily, Mary had put some music on to fill the silence, which helped.) “What you said before, about, y’know, us bein’ your family. We think that too. We—we feel the same. I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

_We._

Why couldn’t he just bring himself to say that his feelings were separate from those of Sam and Mary? Why?

“I do know that, Dean,” Cas said, a very small smile finding its way onto his lips despite the circumstances. “I can sense it. I am an angel, after all.”

“Yeah, but—” Dean began again, his words tapering off into a soft sigh. He was talking so quietly that Cas was leaning forward, even though celestial beings didn’t need to be so close to someone to be able to hear them. “Look, man, I’m really bad with shit like this, but I—fuck. See, it’s sorta—it’s different for me. You’re family to me, but it’s—more.”

He couldn’t stop himself from looking down at Castiel’s lips, because he was so close, and because it was inevitable. Then he looked back up at Castiel’s eyes. _Fucking blue eyes_ , Dean thought, and then Sam and Mary were gone, and there was only Cas. His breath ghosted over Cas’s mouth for a moment before he closed the very small distance between their lips.

 _I love you, too_ , Dean prayed, directing his thoughts at Cas, hoping he would hear what Dean couldn’t yet say aloud.

At that, Castiel gasped into his mouth and reached a trembling hand up to cup Dean’s jaw, and then he was kissing him properly. It began slow, but the self-restraint that Dean had was slowly ebbing away as he tasted Castiel’s tongue and felt the angel pressing their bodies closer together.

Dean didn’t even care about how filthy Cas’s clothes were. Not when Cas’s tongue was now tracing the seam of his lips after, moments prior, his body itself had been splitting at the seams.

* * *

To a certain extent, Sam had been fine with ignoring Dean and Cas kissing in the backseat. (Having been the one to experience the obvious sexual tension for much longer, he felt the need to cast Mary an apologetic glance, but he allowed them to have their moment nonetheless.)

But when he glanced briefly in the mirror and saw how lost they were getting in it—Dean’s fingers venturing up Cas’s thigh, and Cas’s hands finding their way under Dean’s shirt, both tugging one another closer—Sam decided to intervene.

“WOAH—HEY HEY,” he said loudly, causing them to wrench away from each other, startled and put out. “I’d like to remind you both that Mom and I are _still here_. At least save it for when we get back to the bunker. You’ve been dancing around each other for years; I think you can wait a few hours.”

A smug smile came across Sam’s face as he glanced back at Dean—never, in his entire life, had he seen Dean Winchester flush so red.


End file.
